This girl is more easily done than said...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
