its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
