Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
