we're blogging at a bar
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
