I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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