Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
