tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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