smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
