I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I had to cum in my sink.
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