4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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