Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
