Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
