Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
