Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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