Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
