went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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