She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish you could order shots online.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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