and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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