i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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