Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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