I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
