Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
