I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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