is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
