You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
