need another drink. this is the easiest way
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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