Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
