she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
