i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
