you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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