Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
