what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
MIDGETS
????
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
