but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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