so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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