in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
sarcasm needs its own font
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
