Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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