When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
