Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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