Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
In the future we'll all be gay
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
