you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
