you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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