There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
