make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
