Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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