Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
