I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
