I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
3pm strippers are depressing
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
