lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
