I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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