did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
