U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
