i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
