When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
